ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
