I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
