We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
