We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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