Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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