he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
