You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize