wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
