Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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