He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
