I'm really into asian looking animals
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
