i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
