I wish I only lived at night.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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