How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
