I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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