i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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