So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
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