Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The feeling are messing with the penis
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
