I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
