We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize