Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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