Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Small penises have feelings too.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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