In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
