her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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