I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
