Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?