She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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