I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
