in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize