I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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