No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
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i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
What drink are we having for lunch?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
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Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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