You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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