Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
