i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
