i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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