Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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