please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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