So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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