I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
