You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
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