Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
