that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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