Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
