Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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