i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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