I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize