I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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