What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
