Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
