someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
