The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
