you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize