The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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