I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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