Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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