Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
my shit smells like andre
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
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