just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
