I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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