So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
