overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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