if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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