Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
