I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
