on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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